We are all in situations that sometimes we feel like we do not belong to our family. If you are one of these people, there is a big chance that you are born to solve family karma. It feels like since you were young, a big burden has been laying on your shoulders and you see the mistakes of your parents, that you do not want to repeat. But in trying so hard to not repeat them, you are faced with the exact same patterns.

Let me provide you with some tips on how to heal family patterns and family karma, so it won’t have to repeat itself any longer. Being free of the burden and have a free pass on not passing the ingrained patterns to your children.

1. Understanding the repeating patterns

It could be that you are born in a warm and loving family. If so, this is the example you have been giving and bringing onto you kids as you pass on your DNA and habits. Did you know that you carry all trauma, lessons and lives from your ancestors in your DNA?

If you family line hasn’t always been truthful, or experienced extreme traumatic situations, you will carry this generations further still in your DNA. You have undefined anxieties and phobias, that are unexplained likely coming from past lives or as you guess it, passed on from your ancestors. A natural response to this all is, why me? I didn’t deserve to be born with a condition that has not been caused by me.

However, once you look deeper there is an unlocked beauty to it. A true puzzle you only can solve once you are aware of the power within you. As a true detective you can look back into your past and define what has been repeating itself over and over again. Is there something that you recognize from your parents? You could think my mother/ father is an alcoholic and he or she ruined my life. But what made them start drinking in the first place? What could possibly have happened to make them numb their feelings and run away from reality?

By blaming them for destroying your childhood, you might become upset and start finding an addiction, because no one understand you and knows where you are coming from. Then the loop hole is complete and the family patterns carry themselves on. How to escape this matrix? By doing exactly something, that hasn’t been done before.

2. DNA is real

Even though you think that all the patterns you learn from childhood are just formed by the behavior of your parents, you are also influenced by your DNA. If you were adopted, you would still carry the family patterns of your biological family, making it a bit more difficult to discover them. But nothing in life is impossible.

You might have weak spots in your body, that get you first once you are stressed or upset. These are the key to where your pain is hiding. Conscious or unconscious pains have no distinction in this case. Put your hands on those weak spots, close your eyes and receive the message what it is all about. If you have often headaches, why so? Is there too much running through your mind? Are you letting yourself lead by just the intellect and not by your divine feelings? Do you feel heavy on the shoulders? Maybe you have been carrying too many responsibilities and it is time to bring them back to their rightful owners.

Your body speaks a language, and now it is time to find the answer to the questions that are no where to be found in books. The answers are hidden in your body and only you can become aware of them.

3. Forgive with unconditional love

Love is the most powerful tool and weapon out there. Everything can be solved with love as long as it is meant and unconditional. In order to heal your karmic family patters, you have to forgive them for their “mistakes.” They were handling things from their perspectives and unconscious patters. It is like driving a car on automatic pilot, and you did not understand how you drove from A to B, as the whole ride was done without your actual presence.

They don’t know any better and as parents they love you even though they do not always know how to show it. In case you feel like they do not love you, love them anyways. Your parents gave you life and made you the person who you are today. Strong and wonderful, with scars that lead you to conquering obstacles in life with more ease. Now you became this strong, and you have passed the stage of anger, it is time for forgiveness.

See your parents a little children, that were damaged just like you and brought you up with knowing what they know. If they could have done better they would, but in their idea they did the best they could. Blaming your parents for everything in your life is like blaming yourself for your existence. Everything starts with self-love and when you love yourself, you see love as a reflection in everything.

4. Accept your family as they are

Often we would like to change our family members into the people we would like to see. However, unconditional love does not want to change anything about anybody. If you love unconditionally, you actually create space for people to change gradually and to see themselves in a good light. With that unconditional faith, they can move mountains and you will be surprised how things turn out.

Give them a change to be your parents, and if you carry the role of the caregiver instead of the other way around, ask them for help. Even though it is really small, in that way they feel needed by you and they can act out as a parent. Acceptance is key to healing your family patterns and not repeating them any longer.

5. Everything around you is a reflection of unsolved issues

When you have not solved the family patterns that you are carrying and do not like, they keep acting around you in other forms. They act out in relationships, friendships and colleagues. When you have problems with one of your parents or both, these people will start representing them. You will feel very drawn to them at first, and then slowly hate starts sneaking its way in. From love you go to hate and you do not understand where it comes from.

I can give you a little secret, this person is exactly portraying the family member that you haven’t forgiven yet. The same situation will happen to you in other way until you get the story. Forgive this people and walk away in love, as they are a divine message to you pointing out the patterns that you need to heal. How is that not a blessing?

Speak your truth and make them understand your point of view, even if they do not understand it. Release your resentment and move on with your life. Light a candle and do a little prayer for this person: “I forgive you with all my heart, and I forgive myself for creating those hateful feelings towards you, I am only human.” Send them blessings and love and now you are ready to move on, so you do not have to face it again. And if the universe sends it to you again, do not panic, but embrace the situation and treat it differently.

6. Meditate, fasting and kind self-talk

A mindful living, meditation and conscious food is a way of  breaking down your karma. It is a tool that creates less karma for you and makes you peel your layers of trauma. When you meditate there is a silence in between the chatter in your mind, that creates nothing for a moment. That nothingness, creates no karma and sets a more peaceful life forward.

This is something we are all craving for, a life of inner peace and happiness. There is no one on this planet who wants to be miserable. Everyone is looking out for love. Therefore, give people a chance and if they disappoint, it is from a lack of their own consciousness. Nothing in your capability could have changed that.

Start with self-love, so people can reflect that love back to you. Eat vibrating food, less meat and more healthy colors. It will brighten up your day and make you love yourself even more for feeling so healthy and active. Look in the mirror and tell yourself how beautiful you look, because you are beautiful inside out! Every one is, and know that you are the only one who can change it all. Change family patterns and change your life into a better one.

Will there be challenges? Yes, there will be obstacles and challenges, testing you how ready you are for a new beginning. If you embrace those obstacles as lessons, and start loving things the way they are, a new life can arrive to you.

A life you deserve!

Much love,

The Mindful Magazine