When you live in the now, it is sometimes hard to see that you are carrying more of your past than you think you do.
In the first 10 years of your life you are like a sponge, you learn fast, take on things fast so you can grow into a proper human being. However, what if those first impression of life, your first storage here on earth, brought you to see neglect, to know little of love and self-love. It is these first crucial years that set your personality, your first layer of your human vessel.
Years and years later you might develop a depression, you might have pains and anxiety, not knowing where it comes from. Let me be clear with you, before getting to a depression, you had years of storing up blockages. A continuous belief system that led you to not feeling good enough about yourself. But trust me when I say; we are all equal, we are all loved, we are all the same, why is there less love for you?
Understand your inner child
What do you crave for most, what is it you seek for right now. What do you feel you lack? Maybe what you are looking for is not coming, because you do not believe you can have it.
Have you never known money as a child? This might bring you the believe that it is not possible for you to make money. Same as obesity, you believe you are overweight, because your family is. But might it not be a great part of getting the habits of your parents and family.
Are you always in toxic relationships? Do you always want to take care of other people, this might just come from one or two of your parents that was asking healing from you. This habit you pursue in your following relationships. Now you are thinking right? This is good, let’s move on!
What are you craving for most? That is the key to understanding what you have been missing. When you understand the missing part, you can continue to solving it.
Solve the blockage, start healing
Do not worry beautiful reader, you are not unique to this situation. I have to heal some parts of me and my family too. Not everyone will understand the situation, but if you are brave enough you can break the family patterns and stop it with you.
In my family we have a pattern in which the women in our family, we do not love ourselves and become co-dependent on our mothers. We (the children) take care of them as they take care of their mothers. Like this we are disrupting the whole mother-child situation.
This space does not hold a place for a man, or anyone else for that matter, because we were too busy caring. If someone was to enter our family, it was someone broken that we can heal too, because caring was all over our programming.
But by caring for your mother, you might leave out the feelings of the child. By breaking this, you need to bring back the roles. Today my mother is my mother again and all the healing and my overly giving part mainly stopped.
We can now be family again without me giving my everything to her and other people. Self-love was my key, I know it and I love myself more than I could imagine now, hence I am writing to you how my spiritual journey started, is still going and what I am learning!
Back to your action and healing. Hopefully my story is giving you inspiration on how you can further heal yourself. A good way to help you heal is by family constellations, you can watch the interview I did with Ursula explaining these wonderful systems of (family)love. There are many tools to understand yourself better, just find the one that you feel most comfortable with.
Do not be too strict for yourself
Like the title is saying, do not be too strict for yourself in this process of inner child healing. Can you imagine that you have set your stones when you were a child and that gave you a perspective of the world. Everyone is carrying different perspectives and views, based on DNA, (like me and some believe past-lives, your surroundings, your family, your friends etc.).
However, you are not stuck. You can change the believe system that you have by going back to your inner child. Do a meditation and give yourself a beautiful hug. How could you know what was happening to you? You were only a child and nothing can be done about it.
What you can do now is forgive and treat yourself with the life you deserve. If you keep holding up anger, sadness or any other feeling that is not for your highest good, you will keep being disappointed. Everything you feel towards others, you feel and store in your body and the blockage grows and grows and might grow into a dis-ease.
Forgive and allow yourself to be happy
The time is now to forgive and to change the past. You might wonder how as the past can’t be changed. Even if the past can’t be changed, you can change how you feel about it now. Your past has made you into the wonderful person that you are today. You would not be this amazing if you did not have these experiences.
Everything in your life has been given for you to grow as a soul. From a higher perspective you are just learning how to deal with different or the same situations. Vicious circles, repetitive patterns might happen due to the fact that you just have not seen the solution yet. It is all in your hands to choose how you see life. Your inner child is still in you and with you, but it is your choice to love yourself the way you are/ were as a child.
By embracing your past, you can move on to your future and wish just for the best. You have so many layers and experiences that you carry, just make sure you release them and that you talk to people about it.
This can be strangers or people you know, it does not matter. The more you hold on into your body, the more your body will explode into something uncomfortable like a depression or a dis-ease. Make sure you release your feelings and crying is not bad. Showing your emotions or letting them go is natural.
Bring back that inner child creativity
As a child you still fantasize about the world. You feel like the world is your oyster and you can be who ever you want to be. In reality this is true. In some ways things do not go as we wish, but it is how you look upon it. Just enjoy your surroundings, the trees, the amazing people around you. Make your life more comfortable by being creative.
What does your soul crave to express, and more important what did your little self like when you were younger. Maybe just do that again, be a child, be happy and love yourself unconditionally.
Life is about ups and downs, I am here to help you seeing the light in all of it. Wish you all the best as always and I love you fellow human!
The Mindful Magazine