As a true independent woman, I think I am more than eligible to write this guide of independence. However, I am not just writing this for women but also for men as being on your own can be a bit scary for anyone.
What if you have been through a break-up or you lost your job and suddenly, there you are with no stability. All security has been taken from you and you have nothing more than to depend on yourself.
This is truly not easy, but where there is a will, there is a way! Let’s start with the top tips that I can provide you.
1. What are you most afraid of ?
This guide is not going to make you comfortable, on the contrary, it is here to make you uncomfortable and to make you think about yourself and your decisions. So, what exactly are you afraid of? Why do you fear being on your own and what makes you think that you are not capable of doing it by yourself?
Being alone is something that scares a lot of people, but why exactly?Sharing your experiences with someone is absolutely great, but depending on them is not.
There are people in relationships that feel alone too, or people that have a job that they do not like they don’t feel good either. It is often the appreciation that lacks.
To make it more complicated, do you appreciate yourself? As everyone is a reflection of you, or do you feel like the lack of support has to do with you being on the wrong track. What does your heart tell you?
2. Get yourself out there
Now you have more time for yourself, maybe go on a date with the only person you really have to live with namely; yourself! Super exciting right? You have been with yourself for ages, but do you really know what you want out of this life?
Off course, you do not need to have it all figured out, but having a vision and a passion certainly makes life more fun.
Therefore, get out there and do sports, hobbies or read that book that you have wanted to read a long time ago. Spoil yourself and treat yourself with so much love, this is where self-love starts.
3. Money issues may arise
When you are alone, the expenses are usually much higher as you have to pay more rent, and if you have children, you have even more expenses. Do not worry and make your compromise, as there is nothing right now that will change the situation.
Only you can change your attitude and make the best out of the situation. Do you really need a huge space or that new device?
Make sure that you are budgeting and you might even notice that you don’t need as much as you think you do. Worry only makes you block your money flow, get the ideas out and let it come to you. Work hard (find yourself a job full-time or part-time) and be open.
4. Dependent or independent? Love yourself!
What would make you most proud? Being independent right? And absolutely this does not mean that you should stay alone and not be in a relationship or a job where you depend on salary from someone else.
I am talking about the fact that you can make your own decisions, based on your own gut feeling and discernment. What are you most attracted to, someone you need to take care of, or someone that knows what they are doing.
This might also scare you as it might be completely new. But isn’t it more beautiful to love the people around you for who they truly are? On this level you are getting to know people on a higher level and you can see them for who they are. This is the turning point where you love unconditionally someone for their flaws and for their being.
“Do you want to be half of your potential or be the whole of your potential?”
Be straight and honest with yourself and let yourself be whole, do not give half of yourself away to someone else. Being independent, is truly loving yourself for who you are completely.
5. Enjoy your own company
Self-love has been mentioned a few times, but truly enjoying your own company and loving yourself is the ultimate freedom. Now it does not matter anymore if you are with other people or not. You can live more in the moment and let things happen as they are.
Like this it is easier to appreciate life and be more comfortable and happy with yourself. It does not come to you in one day and trust that it is a whole process.
But right there, is where you become a strong and independent person. Your strength is growing and your life becomes different, the more you grow as a person the more opportunities you dare to take on.
6. Just be your amazing self!
The last tip I can give you is just be amazing, feel what you do and do what you feel. Do not let yourself be led by other people, take the advice and feel what is right for you. You are the only one that can know what is best.
Go for the job you love (within the range of possibilities), if the wave does not take you yet, be patient and wait your perfect timing. It does not all have to happen now, how boring would life be if you would get it all at once. Be prepared for whatever the universe has to offer you, and be courageous.
You can create your own stability and truly, not depending on someone else to make you happy or provide you with what you are looking for is the ultimate freedom.
As always, I wish you all the best and I hope my articles are helpful for you.
The Mindful Magazine
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[…] it is very difficult for me to find a partner even though, I feel I am at a level that I am totally independent and happy with myself for over a few years […]