Today I felt like writing about a taboo of many. The hidden potential of female sexuality, I am discovering more and more about it. For years and years we have been suppressed and therefore it has been complicated to fulfill our full potential. We see many video clips and movies about women being bitches and sluts. It has become a norm, and as many other women, these names and thoughts have affected me too. I am one of the women who has been feeling, like I am too much or maybe not good enough.
Fear of judgment
As many of my blog post I reflect to the observations I made in my life. I am sure there are a lot of you resonating with these situations. I am as some of people might say an attractive woman or at least I have the mysterious touch that make people curious. I am 27 years old and single and noticed that it is very difficult for me to find a partner even though, I feel I am at a level that I am totally independent and happy with myself for over a few years already.
A comment often coming my way is that I have many partners, or should have least already have a boyfriend. It is the prejudices countless people make, either may it involve me or other women. If I would have a random night out and kiss a stranger, I am adding up to the expectations of how they see me. You see, she is a so-called slut, or you see that is why she is still single.
People start assuming something is wrong with you and summing up why the reasons you are still alone. This is off course just an example. Because if we have a partner the question is, when do you get married? And when you are married, you are asked, when will you have children? We are always questioned, instead, why aren’t we allowed to just be. Why are our sexual desires disapproved, while it is our natural state and completely normal?
Is there a standard of being?
A norm has been made and everyone is going around this norm. But what is a norm, if we create our own reality? In my opinion a norm is set by yourself. It is the desire you want from life. We came here to planet earth to fulfill certain lessons in life. Therefore, we do not always get what we want, but what we need in order to accomplish our highest potential.
Over the years many women have been suppressed and we weren’t allowed to speak or provide our opinions. However, a perfect balance of male/ female can only be achieved if us women recover ourselves from past hurts. Trauma’s from this lifetime and lifetimes before. The question is how to heal from it?
Healing past and past life trauma’s
The question is off course, how to we heal our past trauma’s and our universal trauma. Since most of us carry it around for several life times, there is a universal blockage of our feminine sexuality, which does not only contain our sexual desires, but also our inner wisdom, creativity and intuition. This is what we obtain in order to nurture and support ourselves, our men and our children. The importance of self-healing is not seen in the collective.
Myself, I carry quite masculine energies as I was raised an born in The Netherlands, which contains in general quite masculine energies. You can see it in the way Dutch women dress and their independent, almost bossy nature. Because of this, many men, become more feminine. The balance is imbalanced so to speak.
Healing the lower chakras
Most of the time we speak about chakras and their meaning. As the curious person I am I have done quite some research in it, and managed to open all of them myself. They might imbalance now and then and healing is a process and not done in an instant. A lot of people search for immediate healing by a magical person. However, the trick is to be patient, dive into yourself and heal bit by bit, like an onion that gets rid of its layers.
When we meditate we mainly focus on the upper chakras, but it is very important as well that we focus on our lower chakras. The root chakra (The lower back, belly and genital areas) is related to our roots, stability, finances and all primitive need. If this is not stable, it is impossible for your second chakra(Sacral chakra, around the navel) to be open and receptive. This is the feminine chakra and entails all sexuality, creativity and feminine wisdom. Some women have it stabilized naturally and some like me, have had it closed. In order to focus on these areas and heal it by creating art, writing or any other creative activity.
Every day lay your hands on your belly around your navel and tell yourself how much you appreciate your body, your feminine aspect and your womb. This is where you power lies. You will feel more aligned and connected with yourself after. It is time we start appreciating who we are including our sexual energies. I carry a strange sexual energy that I have always felt very uncomfortable with. In order to avoid situations of reaction to this energy, I thought myself to look no one in the eye. Who knows what others might think. If I smile they might think I am flirting and if I do not smile, I should laugh more. It is just the point I want to make of women’s behavior that is always judged.
Bringing back our self-confidence
Collectively, we should find ourselves back. We should not be mean to each other. We are all women with the same troubles, why is it so hard to provide each other with support. In stead of creating competitions, we should nurture, love and gather. Men find women more attractive that are nurturing, self-confident and a great support. In that way we can obtain support and protection back! Yin and yang, male and female, plus and minus, in other words the balance of 2 energies matching each other perfectly!
Let us women give each other compliments and embrace our true essence of knowledge, intuition and creativity. We are all unique, but all the same at the same time. Many of us struggle with our sexuality. We think it is wrong to want sex, but also to have no sex. Where do we find a balance?
I think we should first embrace our true nature. We are sexual intelligent beings. Sex brings us children, pleasure and love. You can choose how you love and what you desire. It should be our decision in how we want to love, without judgment. Just like men can have it without judgment. Just like men should be able to have feelings and be emotional. Not just always have to be strong for others. Both sexes struggle, but as I am female, writing about female sexuality feel closer to me.
Scared to use the “V” word
Often we are scared to talk about these subjects, so am I. Since I have been more vulnerable than ever and wanting to discuss anything possible, I want to open up about it all. Using the word vagina, yoni or however you want to call it, seems so difficult in our vocabulary. Nevertheless, it is part of our body. We carry it with us every day, just like any other part. Why should this be a taboo? It is completely normal, it is the way our bodies were build.
It is time we start embracing ALL of ourselves. We are a miracle just by living. It all functions perfectly and we create life. This is something wonderful and definitely we should be proud of it. We both need men and women equally. Let’s embrace our parts as oneness and discuss the subjects, no one wants to talk about. We have our period, our own problems. Why not share it. We have desires and they are not wrong, but completely healthy. As everything it should be balanced. An overactive lower chakra could lead to sex addiction, this is not what I am talking about. It is about a healthy sex life, which we should nurture.
Connecting to our wisdom
Yes, connecting to our wisdom, our true nature is accepting ourselves completely. Lot of us forget to accept that we are females, mothers and creators of creation. Connect to the earth and thanking “gaia” for providing us with life is a great ritual to connect.
Meditate with your hands on your womb and be grateful to be alive. Another way of connecting is to dance with bare feet. Put on some music and dance with yourself either with your eyes open or closed. You can dance in a group of women or alone! It doesn’t matter. It is time we speak up, reconnect and embrace each other. Let the jealousy go and come closer to our true nature.
You are wisdom, you are beauty, you are divine. Remember that!
The Mindful Magazine