Our past is often something that is chasing us. When you are born into your family, you grow up with the roots that tie you to them. We learn how to see the world from their perspective, which you can’t really challenge until you are more or less in our teenage years.
Some experiences have been good from your past, but some have left a mark for life. It created all the belief systems and world views that you are experiencing today. However, have you ever questioned why certain repetitive situations keep happening?
Do you still up till today suffer from your past? If you are ready to let go, this article is definitely for you. Living in the past, reliving a trauma over and over again is stopping your future. It defines your future with the past.
Don’t you have dreams to be happy and to receive all that you have been looking for? Then it is time to release all that is not welcome from the past. Keep the good memories, release the bad ones as some car that has passed once in your life.
What can you do to release your past? Here some steps and tips for you to follow! It worked for my own situation similarly and I hope it will certainly help you too. I want humanity to heal from the past trauma’s, there is so much more and better out there.
Steps for healing your past, get ready!
Try to be as open minded as possible with the steps and see the situations from a level above, not as you are in it.
1. Create awareness of the situation
What has impacted your life negatively? Ask yourself these questions, how positive are you in life at the moment? Are you hanging on to past relationships with family members, romantic relationships or friends?
Have you been bullied while you were younger which has created a scar on your own identity? Start to dig into your past, how painful it may seem, it is the only way to move on.
Take your time, and grab a notebook. Write down all the situations and experiences that are still quite present in your life. Something you hold on to and believe will never happen to you, like your dream job, your perfect lover and/or having a family of your own.
Where do these ideas come from? Did you have a bad relationship with one of your parents, or were you so pampered, that you became very indecisive. How would you like to see yourself?
2. Write down your fears
What do you fear most in life? Is there a reason that you fear to give that presentation at work, because in your past people have talked you down on your talents? Think about all your fears and write them down on a new page after the first step of self-awareness that you have just created.
Why do you fear these things most, and then off course the next step is… facing your fears!
3. Write down the unsaid/ unheard
What is holding you back from your past? There might be things in your family or past environment that you left unsaid, because you thought it did not matter or you are afraid.
Each and every situation that has passed and kept you with an uneasy feeling, you can write down. What would you like to say to this person, and how would you handle things differently? And even better, is there a lesson you learned from the whole experience? Maybe because of this you ended up in a better place.
Read over your stories, which ones are worth speaking to people about? Handle the situation in peace, and speak from your heart. When you speak your truth, there is nothing people can do, it is your heart speaking. You might be surprised how people appreciate your talk.
4. Meditation and detachment from the situation(s)
You can’t hear it enough, meditation is the cure to the understanding of life. It provides you with peace and insights. When you are so busy all the time living your life, so many thoughts might cross your mind up to a pace where you drive yourself crazy.
You bring all these ideas in your mind, but have you really thought about the situation? Was the other person really able to provide you with the things you want from them? It could be that they had a lack in their own time growing up. If they weren’t thought to act with love, how can they teach you love?
Gain insights from quietness, go into nature and walk around. When you obtain a bigger picture of your life, you can detach more from the situation. Dive deep and gain understandings why people hurt you the way they did. If they don’t know any better, is it you waiting for them to change, or is it you that can change?
Detach from others emotions more and more and get a grip of your own life. Focus on what you do want instead of what you do not want. You can change your life only, and if you have this understanding, you are holding the key to your greatest treasure.
5. Forgive the people that have hurt you
Forgiveness is such a great tool to let go of your past. Where the people intentionally hurting you, or was it a lack of understanding as I mentioned before.
Maybe they have tried the best they could, but didn’t have it in them to treat you better. Then it is time to let go of anger and forgive them for their mistakes. We are all human, and mistakes are part of life.
You can forgive by meditation or just by sitting in a quiet spot. Try to send them your love and forgiveness by focusing on your heart when sending out the forgiveness.
There is nothing more beautiful then forgiveness, it will provide you with more beauty and a new fresh start. When you let go of what happened to you, it can’t define your future anymore.
Last but not least, you have to forgive yourself for your own wrong doings. You know now that you won’t repeat it again and if you do, at least learn from it. Heal yourself by self-forgiveness.
6. Write down your dreams
Did anyone tell you in the past that you were not capable of something? Maybe they have told you that your dreams are stupid or not valid enough. Do not listen to other peoples’ emotions.
They are reaction from their own lack of understanding, or they just had a really bad day themselves. Their dreams and logic might differ completely from yours, but isn’t that the beauty of humanity, the fact that we are all different and have our own things to bring into this planet earth?
Write down all of your dreams and desires, they are yours to achieve and nobody else can reach them for you. Assistance in the process is always welcome, but if you do not get it from the people you would like to, you go to like minded groups around you that can support you with your dreams.
It is time to let go of past hurts, and move on to what you really want. If you do not have a clue yet, take some time for yourself and the clues will come to you. You have talents and you are special, just like everyone else, no one is left out!
7. Embrace the future with love
Do not fear the future. Do not fear the same things will happen to you over and over again. When you do, you attract the same things that you are so afraid of.
Everything in life is based on energies, when you send out the right signal, you get exactly that back into your life. When you are afraid of similar situations from the past, that is exactly what you get once again.
Try to change your patterns by listening to affirmations, or by telling yourself every single day that you are capable of your talents and that can receive everything you wish for.
It might take time, but therefore patience is the best word I can give you. Be patient and wait for good things to come your way, make the vibrations you are sending out positive and full of love.
8. Cut cords and ties with the necessary and move on
You can’t cut ties with your family, as they are your roots in this lifetime. However, you can choose who you want to be around with. Have you learned from your past?
You know very well which people are right for you and which not. If you have a feeling of unease with a person, that means you are not a great match of continuation. Which is completely fine, some people are meant in your life for just a short time.
Same as situations, they come and go, nothing lasts forever. If you found yourself in a horrible place in the past, it means it is history. The same situation won’t happen again and what did you learn from it?
Sometimes we come out stronger than ever and it gives us the drive to chase our dreams. If nothing happened to you, you probably are comfortable as you are and you would not go after your most treasured dreams.
9. Do not look back
Leave the memories as they are, you can’t erase them. Rather embrace them for what they are and focus on the present and your future plans.
Just see them as a movie playing in your mind without the emotions attached. This takes a lot of time and practice but it is definitely not impossible. You can do it and I believe in you!
I wish you all the love and luck with your upcoming path. You are amazing and beautiful and you can do anything that crosses your mind. It takes time, dedication and patience, but just enjoy the process. Everything happens in its own time, when the synchronicity is right.
Forgive, love and do not look back. All you have is the now, nothing else. Remember that.
The Mindful Magazine
5 thoughts on “9 steps on how to heal from your past”
As a pediatrician, I am intensely convinced of the power of mindfulness in good parenting. I equally believe in the need for mindful well-child visits to the doctor. The challenge for any thoughtful parent is to find a clinician who uses the golden minutes of the baby’s check up to teach and listen to the stories of mindfulness. The resulting goal is to create a child who is secure or who grows into a resilient adult.
Medical providers are taught in hospitals the medical model of disease and disorders. If there is no understanding of secure and insecure attachment then you may need to teach them. If they are willing to learn you have found a mindful healer.
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