In this blog I want to discuss the fact that many people do not feel like they can be themselves nowadays. There is so much pressure around you and society wants to often tell you what to do. Are you afraid to be yourself because of this? How do you deal with that?
The big question: “who am I?”
Many of you ask this question to yourself. Who am I really and what do I want from life? It is funny when we think about it, you are the one that lives with yourself and still you are wondering who you are. We all are dealing with these feelings. When we think about it, it seems that we have the core of our personality in our life, but the outside layers are changing. The way you are integrating life and situations can be different depending on how you feel and on how you experience life at that moment.
We are as said multi-dimensional beings, which means we are integrating several parts of ourselves in different parts of our lives. Or you could say that you can reach a certain dimension of yourself in a certain part of your life. Sometimes we are discovering talents that we have not discovered before, it is a new revelation to show you parts of who you are. Things like astrology, meditation and other spiritual practices could reveal more about your hidden talents.
The first stages of accepting yourself
Now you know you are a multi-dimensional human being who has different aspects as a whole. However, it seems to be such a pain to accept yourself for who you are. Will someone like me? What can I change about myself? What if they do not accept my true feelings? We think that some people are so secure, but these feelings of insecurity is certainly something that everyone has to deal with at some point.
Everyone in life is a reflection of you. Which means if everybody is coming from the same “god” or “source” we are already part of each other. Meeting someone else in your life whoever it is, a friend, a family member or a lover, this person is already a part of you. If I reflect to the outside that I have difficulties accepting myself, how can you blame the outside world for doubting you or being confused with you. As you are the reflection, it is very difficult to blame others for your non-self acceptance.
It is not easy, very true… but at one point you have to face yourself and understand that what you send to the outside world comes right back to you. If you are grumpy and you feel unloved, off course that will reflect right back to you. If you have a bad mood, people won’t smile back to you and want you as a friend. Creating a good life for yourself with a good reflection back from others means you have to start within you. It is time to stop blaming other people for your own insecurities. Let’s continue with the next chapter on how to do this. You ready?
I am love and love is me
Accepting yourself is not an easy road. It is one of the most difficult obstacles depending on the person off course. Somehow it is easier to accept other people’s quirks and adjust to theirs, but your own YUK, very complicated. When you think about it, you have to live with yourself a whole lifetime. Why would you try to punish yourself while having this wonderful experience on earth. It is already hard and though as it is with the obstacles coming your way to teach you lessons. However, hating yourself makes your life even more of a pain and above that, it will attract more bad things your way because of your energies that you send into the world and that will reflect it back to you.
When you hurt someone, you usually feel bad about it and it can eat you alive. It is basically as you have been hurting yourself. First focus on yourself and see what you can do to change things and love yourself. What am I good at? You could write those things down, what could I improve about myself? Being aware of who you are is the first step of acceptance. We are not perfect and no one is. The most important thing is that you accept yourself and when you let go of the outside pressure, you will be surprised with what comes up.
Accepting yourself vs. undiscovered skills
We talked about us, discovering distinctive parts of ourselves. Usually this happens after you let go of the tension that you have to be perfect. Sometimes after periods of hard times and suffering we do not care so much anymore about everyone around. We feel so lost that you are in the mode that you think “fuck it,” I have nothing to lose, I can do anything right now. This is the time that you actually start doing what your heart tells you as you lost all control and care of yourself.
It can also come from a place of boredom. When you are bored your creative mind starts to become active and has all these plans for you to get you of doing nothing.
How will I pass my time? This is where true inventions are discovered and intelligent minds come forward. Often we think it is the busy life and studying non-stop that brings us to the point of ideas. No way! It is usually not the case. If you create the space for new ideas to enter… it can. If your head is full of planning, how do any ideas enter your mind. Think about that! You are more powerful than you think, if you agree to that you embrace that powerful, intelligent and creative side of yourself. Yes, yet another step further to accepting yourself.
I am afraid people do not agree
What if I want something and people will disagree with me? Leaving out the extreme cases as violence, what do you have to lose? So what …. if someone will not tell you they like it. Whatever you do, or whoever you are, it can never happen that everyone agrees with you. If you behave you are too perfect, if you work too hard you are a workaholic, if you don’t have a job you are a failure. You can also think, perfection is boring, this person is working extremely hard to reach his or her goals and you do not have a job now, but you are taking a nice break. It is all a matter of perspective.
If you continuously think people will disagree with you, you won’t ever become what you wish for. Do you think all the famous people, may it be writers, speakers, singers or anyone was afraid to show their talents? No they went their own way and got rewarded for it. If you are avoiding to be with the person you love, you might miss wonderful children. Do what you feel and feel what you do! You are an amazing person and you deserve to be happy. Tell yourself in the mirror for once that you may be here. There is all sorts of people in this world and we all have a right to be here. There is no standard of beauty and tastes differ. Let society and the people around you not influence your beauty.
Conclusion of not being afraid
Find like-minded people that will embrace your talents so you do not feel such an alien anymore. Do not care for other people to care, because you are being yourself and there is nothing wrong with that. You are wonderful and you deserve a rightful spot on this planet. Start loving yourself and believing in your possibilities and you will see how people will change around you. If you shift, people around you shift, it is true I can tell you!
I believe you can be your true self. I already love you for being just that and with that in our minds, it is time to close this blog post. I hope it was helpful for you and I send you my love.
The Mindful Magazine